Susah utk bercerita kali ini…kurang pasti perasaan sebenar chesu…but then,I promised ajah to actually update my blog upon responding to her questions….thx ajah 4 the concern…I noe that my army or frens will always be near me,comforting me,thus supporting me in every direction in my life…thx a lot…
It was never my intention not to share any good news with everyone…it was not meant to be a secret…hence,it is a reason to celebrate…deep down my heart, I did not feel good about it..and I decided to wait,as what recommended by dr norraihan,the ginea…
Feb 18,my husband accompanied me for a thorough check up with the ginae…it was already 16 days delayed from my normal menses. We bought the pregnancy test kit to use at home. We were confuse of the result,its kinda blurry…it is not really –ve nor its not really +ve…it’s in between…Together with that I have a very bad back pain that constantly comes and goes…Each and everytime I were about to go to bed,farihan will apply the minyak mestika so that I feel at ease…for a while..Other than than, I did not display any signs..yes,the headache and the early breakfast was a must before I pray subuh…
The first consultation was basically on when was my last period…and things related to it…from the date,the doctor said it should be around 8 weeks….the procedures that followed was scanning..but she said,she cannot see the “baby”…as a result she insisted on having the next procedure…TVS…transvagina procedure…I was shocked to undergo this procedure..i was not expect all of this to be done on me….I was close to tears….still,she couldn’t locate the “baby”…another procedures followed to ensure that I did not feel pain to their respective action…It did not stop there. My urine sample was taken so that they can test again..this time its –ve…I hope that was the last step…No it was not. My blood sample was taken to the lab to monitor the HCQ hormone…the HCQ hormone is produced by the baby( if there is)..and it is the most accurate indicator to any pregnancy case…
The next 2 days,I got called from my husband. He said that I need to go to hospital again for another check up. The blood test the other day showed that HCQ hormone was 156. A baby is on the day…I went to see dr norraihan. She is a very warm person and very close to my husband. As a result, I skipped the q and straighaway heading to her room..hehe…She said that she wanted the procedures to be repeated on me.I did not like this. Acting as the obedient patient, I went thru the same procedures again,with the presence of my husband. Throughout the process dr noraihan brief us on the things that we suppose to see on the monitor…it is nowhere to locate…she listed 3 big possibilities that could happen to me :
1. It is an early pregnany (HCQ hormone less than 2000 will make the baby invisible on the monitor)
2. It is a failing pregnancy.
3. It is an ectopic pregnancy. (due to my backpain)
My jaw dropped. I was trembled. I can’t utter any word. My husband remained composed. I burst into tears when I was alone at home. I was scared.I was scared for no.3….I wanted a baby but in a normal way…in a normal stage of pregnancy…
The following day until feb 25 required me to report to the hospital…to dr noraihan. My blood sample was taken every day to monitor the HCQ level. She wanted to see the trend,whether it is increasing or decreasing. Up to feb 22, the trend was increasing. It was interpreted that I was having the early stage of pregnancy. I did not know how to react. I refused to break the news even to mama until the HCG hormone reach 2000 and she can locate the baby INSIDE my uterus . Constantly my hubby and I pray for the best. My last blood sample was taken on feb 25. I got the result today. It is decreasing. Dr noraihan said that it is a failing pregnancy…and still it could be failing ectopic. So frens, I guess u understand what does it mean?… I’ll be visiting dr noraihan again this Thursday for god knows what….
Dear frens,Thanks a lot for the comforting words. I am all rite. I have been praying to God to give us a baby at the right time in our life. I believe than now is not the right time. I have to stay focus on my studies. God knows it is hard for me to juggle between my books,my husband and a baby…..for the moment, I just cant wait to see my frens to deliver their babies this year!!!!!!!!!…i’ll join u guys later k!!!!!
sabar dana deh….na hrp dana kuat smgt. Pe2 pn setiap kejadian pasti ada hikmah dsblknya. Maybe masa skang x sesuai ag bt dana sbb dana still blaja n perlukan masa utk urus family n study. Dana jgn sedih deh, na doakn mg dana n farihan akn dpt baby yg soleh n solehah. Jg dr leklok n kuatkn b’doa. InsyaAllah klu ada rezeki x ke mana. Amin…..
NIDA…sedih plak bace entry mu nih..sabar deh…Tuhan lebih mengetahui yg terbaik tuk hambaNya… ade hikmah tu da….
sorry to hear that. oh ok, technically, read not hear. oh, ah. whatever.
wishing all the best.
by the way, dont juggle your husband. he is blardy heavy. haha
be strong dear..and do take care.anything update neh.. 😉
na : yup…u noe tat i’m a strong gal…even stronger with ur support…..tq 4 the doa…
mat : setiap kejadian itu pasti ada hikmah yg tersembunyi..wallahualklam
dman : thx…u noe exactly wat i mean…i can never “juggle” him literally..HELLOOOOOOOOOOO!!!=p
KD…..sedih gak moon bc cite kd ni. Ape2 pn kd kena sabar n tabah. Kuatkn semangat kd, moon tau kd leh uat punye. Rezeki kd n farihan blum smpai lg n it will come soon. B’doa byk2 n jg diri baik2 tau.
sorry to hear the sad news. i know you’re a strong gurl….oppps..woman…hehe…insyaAllah..ada rezeki nt…nt kita lepak cite lama2 bila aku dtg putra nt..
sorry to hear bout it dana. damn the procedures sound crazy scary! takutnyer.. anyways, be strong ye? i was shocked to hear the news from LEE actually.. i was quite pissed that day cuz lee got the news first.. haha.. anyways, will always be there for u. anything i can help, ya? take good care.
hey sorrylaa aku meme tok baco blog everybody everyday. (psycho boss, remember?)
Anyways, it’s okay.. we’re still young.. maybe now is the time to focus on your studies first. Kindergarten aku bulih tunggu anok mu walaupun tok so batch nga anok Mek Na and La. Heheh..
You take care.
Nida…. Sorry dear for not being aware. Been to usm penang for a career talk. Im so sorry to hear bout the news. InsyaAllah, pasti ada hikmah disebaliknya… I’ll always pray whats the best for u, dear…
take care yaa…
yoo.. nida.. mungkin betul kato ajah.. muda lagi.. insyaAllah tadop gapo…
we all pray for the best too..
jgn susah hati.. tuhan bagi kita apa yang kita boleh tanggung..kita jer yg tak sedar potensi sendiri..
wat ever the result is …bak kato ili.. ado hikmah disebaliknya
moon : thx,tp dah ok pun..farihan yg frustrated…cian die
fara : yea,dtgla lepak d putra….jom jom
ain : pape mesti i update ain,like i mentioned earlier..i x sedap hati tats y i x bgtau semua…sometimes insticts works best!!!
ajah : hehe…x po..aku ok jah…x leh rama jugok so batch tkt mung x dae,hikhik…
ili : nida sgt redha….semua kerja Allah
nolee: thx nolee….memang hikmah allah blako
sayang ku….sorry lambat baca ur entry….feel sorry for that unexpected news of urs…. be strong key dear…. things happend for reasons…..theres more to come in life…. jgn sedh ye bucuk….
so sorry dear..
baghu jah baco entry mu nieh..sori ‘slow’ skek aku nih..nway, aku pong harap mung saba k..yeah,spt mano kato noli n ili…
pasti ado hikmah da…
cheer up bebeh..take care!
muah2
tet.memey kene admit la slow mung tu..x po tet…its in the past…redho jah blako….lagipun ni tgh berhempas pulas ngadap bendo2 ngaji nih…susoh pulop segho..adeh
😀
salam.dana sygku.tabah ya,pasti ada yg tersurat dan tersirat. Allah itu adil,pasti Dia ada yg lagi baik utk ko di dpn.sebak baca blog ko neh.but rmber good things happen to good people ok.InsyaAllah.semoga bahagia ngan suami dunia akhirat.orait bebeh.